Life Happened (My First Crush)

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How we see life differently at every stage in life. What we call love back then turned out to be nothing than an attraction or just as many call it a crush.

That’s the exact word, “crush.” You admire them from afar and when they come close you “take to your heels” – not literally though. And so I had a crush back then when I was in SS2. She was my height, fair and very lively. No need to tell you, you can guess she was a drop dead beauty. If you’ve never been in “love”, don’t judge me right now. At that time I was in love, at least “at that time.”

We moved into the area in some good parts of Lagos, Nigeria. She lived at the house opposite mine. The fence in my compound wasn’t that high, so I always stood on the front pavement or by the side of the house and stare at each other for some time saying nothing and then we just run off when the butterflies starts dancing in our stomach. No doubt, she had a crush on me too.

We were two novices in the game, and so we just did our thing our “novice” way, and as far as that way was concerned those early morning stares where fantasies we so much relished.

We met also at the wells, Lagos wells that supplies water to the neighborhood, now you can’t guess what part of Lagos this was. I suddenly became a good boy that loves to fetch water!

Me, fetch water! That was almost a death weight task for me, but at such a time as this, fetching water became my hobby... and you tell me love is not powerful... I’ll just punch you.

“Mummy is there no more drums in this house to put water?”

“No, everywhere is filled. Come and rest.”

“What! Me? Rest!? But I’ve done nothing...”

Mother: shocked!

Me: “Let me go and fill up the pots and buckets too”. Then I dash out, leaving momma, mouth wide open.

As if our spirits were connected, we knew times when we met outdoors, during the cool evenings. We never fix or plan a time, but we always turn out about the same time. We will take a little walk together, no destination in mind. We would pause at a point, sit and talk, and right now, I’m wondering what the hell we talked about! Obviously we were too innocent to smooch around. I would lean on her shoulders slightly and pretend to be tired. She would lean her head over mine, and we would stay so for minutes, saying nothing!!

We didn’t know if we should hug, kiss or curdle each other. We were too innocent for that, at least I was too innocent – maybe she wasn’t, maybe she was. When we were tired, we would walk back to our gates, bid ourselves goodbye and ‘disappear’ inside before someone sees us. Those momentary parting times were very emotional. I felt like a part of me was leaving. I was on the very verge of laughing, crying or just shouting – all of them at the same time.

When we moved out of the area, I died and died again. I didn’t even have a chance to say ‘bye’, and we never saw or spoke till today. My jealous friends who knew her and were around that neighborhood were not helping matters in terms of helping me get across to her. After many times of trying to get across to her without success, I gave up and moved on.

Now, I’m grown up and I’m still single. Sure, she should have gotten married now, had kids ... and I’m still single!

This phase of life has not witnessed such deep feelings for any lady for a while now. Sometimes I still think we were made to be together, just that life happened, and carved out a different path for the both of us.

I wonder if we see today, if we’d have same feelings as we had back then, or if we would simply shake hands, smile at each other and walk away...